


The Birthday Call

by AHS



Category: Actor RPF, Queer as Folk (US) RPF
Genre: Dialogue-Only, M/M, Phone Call
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-02
Updated: 2007-10-02
Packaged: 2017-10-12 23:18:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/130234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AHS/pseuds/AHS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a phone call between the boys on Randy's 30th birthday.  Dialogue-only.  Makes some readers laugh and others cry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Birthday Call

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I made this up.

“Happy birthday, Harrison.”

“Hey! Where’s my present, Harold?”

“It’s coming. But it’s not quite ready yet. I’m still saving and downloading and… whatever you do on these computer… things.”

“ _Downloading_ my present? What the fuck is it, porn?”

“No… well, maybe some of it. Actually, most of it. I’m sending you a shitload of those stories the fans write about us.”

“Haha, very funny… Gale?… Gale, you better be kidding.”

“……”

“Like I’m not traumatized enough turning 30! What are you trying to do to me?”

“Hush up, old timer. I was kidding… maybe.”

“They’re disturbed. Since when did you and I become _characters_ for them to play with?”

“I’ve always been a character. And you’re almost as weird as me, Rand.”

“You know what I mean. They’re making up shit about our lives. It’s just creepy!”

“Some of it’s pretty good.”

“What? You did not actually read some.”

“Alcohol plus boredom plus internet. Yeah. A few.”

“And?… I mean… I wouldn’t expect much in terms of literary quality, but I don’t doubt that their fevered imaginations are quite impressive.”

“Little snob, aren’t you? Ones I looked at could fucking write. Imaginations… yeah. Almost as good as mine.”

“Ah… I don’t think I want to know.”

“Theirs or mine? You already know mine.”

“Gale.”

“What? You do.”

“… You were really high when you said that stuff. I knew better than to take you seriously.”

“Please. When people are high or drunk, that’s when the truth comes out.”

“So, it was also true when you told me you were Elvis Presley’s illegitimate son?”

“You just prove that I’m not.”

“Fine, you win. But… stop reading that shit.”

“Why?”

“Because…… nothing happened, Gale. Nothing… much.”

“I know. They even know. They put their little disclaimers on all of it. But they do pose a fucking interesting theory.”

“I can hardly wait.”

“What if there’s another you and me? Another Gale and Randy in some alternate universe somewhere.”

“You’re high right now, aren’t you?”

“Actually, no. AU Gale probably is, though.”

“AU Gale.”

“The alternate universe me, who’s just like me except… a little bit…”

“… gayer?”

“Yeah.”

“And alternate universe Randy is a little bit more…”

“Simon-free.”

“Oh. And the two of them together are just a little more…”

“… _together_.”

“Hmm.”

“… I’m sorry, Rand. I really did just call to wish you a happy big 3-0. And I’m not gonna send you any stories, I promise.”

“You know, the best present would be if you came to see me.”

“Yeah?”

“I miss my best friend.”

“He misses you, too… but, uh, I can’t get away right now. Maybe in the new year?”

“Sure, yeah. I do have 364 un-birthdays to choose from.”

“That’s the spirit, Sun-”

“Don’t you fucking call me _Sunshine_ , Gale.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Rand… Listen, I’ve got to go.”

“I understand. I’ve got to get back to…… Thanks for calling.”

“Yeah, well, thanks for being born… being in my life… some sentimental shit like that. Later.”

“Gale?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think we’re celebrating my birthday together… in that other universe?”

“Fuck, yeah. Gale’s giving Randy his present right now.”

“What is it?”

“Mighty cheap, as presents go.”

“I bet it’s personal. From the heart?”

“Always. It’s something Gale gives Randy every day over there… two or three times if he’s eaten his Wheaties… but Randy still seems happy to get.”

“Is Gale happy, too?”

“He‘s so happy the neighbors are about to complain.”

“Does Randy say thank you?”

“What do you think?”

“Yes. Because he’s got everything Randy ever wanted.”

“……”

“Bye, Gale.”

“Bye, Rand.”

  
  


End file.
